Step 3 on the 5 Steps To Frustration

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

I was teaching a class a few weeks ago where we were talking about how independent and self sufficient salespeople are (and how we like it that way).  All of the people in the course have been working for the same company for 3+ years. All are lifelong learners who continue to evolve in their chosen profession of sales.

 

One of the participants is looking to be more active in mentoring within the organization, she talked about how people don’t ask her for help – adding that when she wanders through the gray cubes of love, people stop her for a moment and say “do you have time for a quick question?” or “hey since you’re here” and then she has the opportunity to work with them.

 

Funny thing – she took it as they didn’t think her help was important enough to seek out.

 

So I posed a question to the group – How many of you WENT to someone specifically to ask for help in the past week?

> The answer? Zero…. yup, zero people in the class actively looked for help in the past week.

 

Why? Well there were a variety of answers;

• I don’t want to be a bother
• there was nothing I couldn’t work through on my own
• being seen as “high maintenance” isn’t good for your career
• … and so on.

My next question is – Does that mean you didn’t GET HELP?

> This time all the people in the class indicated that they had received help in the past week, well who from?

• someone wandering by
• someone I saw getting coffee
• one of my friends over lunch
• … you get the idea.

Turns out, that as we kept talking, for the experienced salespeople in the class, being self sufficient and frustrated was a regular occurrence. By the time they asked for assistance their frustration level was WAY WAY off the charts. On the 5 steps to frustration, they were on 7. You know what would happen then? No one seemed helpful because they were already frustrated!

 

Have you ever felt that way? You’re frustrated and ask for help – in your head you’re saying “tried that, duh, of course I thought of that too”, not really allowing the other person to help you? That just reinforces our belief that it doesn’t pay to ask for help.

 

Instead, what if we ask for help when we hit step 3 on the 5 steps to frustration? Imagine the possibilities, working with someone else to find creative ideas to solve NON-PROBLEMS, yup – they don’t feel like problems yet because we aren’t frustrated. All of the sudden collaboration is productive because we are still in the solving mindset vs. frustration.

 

Need a rule of thumb? If you have been working on something for over 5 minutes alone, ask for help. I bet there is someone around you who has faced the situation, customer request, or roadblock before and already knows how to get around it.

 

Do you have a tip on how to ask for help, comment and let us know what it is – we’re all looking for help today!