email FAIL

I’ve changed the identifying information to protect the guilty.

This was forwarded to me by a client who knows my visceral reaction to “Touch Base” (I can’t even type it without cringing) as a joke.

There are actually other things I think are more important to mention.

#1 – someone has been reading about effective email as it is nice and short without things that will get it trapped in someone’s spam filter.

#2 – they THINK they are writing from the prospect’s perspective using “hire talent faster and at a much lower cost.” Unfortuantly the language is still me-me-me.

#3 – although Amy ends with a question, she doesn’t actually ask Michael to do anything.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: “Amy The Salesperson”
Date: Sun, Nov 5, 2017 at 10:22 AM -0500
Subject: [External]Touch Base
To: “Michael Prospect”

Hi Michael,

I wanted to get in touch regarding ABC’s hiring needs. A_____ helps companies hire talent faster and at a much lower cost.

Would it make sense to have a quick call next week?

Best Regards,
Amy The Salesperson
A_____ LLC

My suggestion? Today, take a look at your email messages and see if you’re doing some things well and others that need to be edited.